Smart Phone/Social Media Controversy

I've been thinking about this post for quite a while.

Right now, I feel moved to add my two cents. 

There is a building momentum right now, that people are addicted to their smart phones.

My thoughts on that. Duh. Couldn't see that one coming...

I went to my kids swim lessons, years ago, and watched parents sit with their nose in a phone. Paying no attention to their kids. I assume their thinking must have been that the swim instructor has 'got this'. 

I've watched countless kids look over at their parents, eager to make eye contact, to show them 'I did it!' and their parents had absolutely no idea. No clue at all. I wonder what those conversations sounded like on the way home? 

kid: 'Did you see me tread water?'

parent: 'No.'

kid: 'Did you see me go off the slide for the first time?'

parent: 'No.'

kid: 'Did you see me swim the whole length of the pool?'

parent: 'No.'

That makes me feel sad. Very sad. It also makes me mad. 

Seeing the disappointment on the faces of kids, once they realized their parents were NOT paying attention to them, or what they were doing, is gut-wrenching.

We are our kids cheerleaders. Us. The parents. I'm not saying every single thing they do, deserves a party thrown. But when your kid is learning to swim, and looks over to you watching for your reaction to what they just did or accomplished,  a smile and a 'thumbs up' means the world to them. I'm using swimming as an example, but I mean anything. When they skate by, and glance up at you, you should see that. When they run by during a track meet, pretending NOT to look for you in the crowd, but they're looking for you in the crowd,  you should see that. When they get their first goal, you need to say "I know! I saw it".

I spend a great many hours, sitting in arenas from September through March. There are a lot of kids that would benefit from a thumbs up, a way to go, a smile from their parents. There are a lot parents who miss seeing special moments because they are simply not present. **Spoiler alert, minor sports don't have replays on the jumbotron. When you miss your kids first goal, you can't re-watch it.  

I was late to the game with a 'smart phone'. I never texted. When people told me that was how they communicated with their children, I was kind of shocked. "You mustn't have teenagers" people said to me. Six years ago, I didn't have teenagers. I had a flip phone, that I used for phoning people. It rarely got used, and if I forgot it at home, it wasn't a big deal.  

I got my first iPhone the Christmas of 2011. All I wanted was interested in was having a better camera feature and to subscribing to Instagram. 

Fast forward to 2018...

Firstly, I'm no different than anyone else.

I'm absolutely addicted to my iPhone. That became perfectly clear the first time I got to my destination and realized I'd forgotten my phone at home.  I was sick to my my stomach until I got it in my hand again, knowing it was at home without me... Or rather, me without it... 

I depend on my phone like every one else does.  I haven't memorized a phone number in years. All the information of my life is stored in my phone. I pick it up and mindlessly scroll through apps and websites. 

We have become a society that can't stand to be bored. And that scares me. Because let's face it, a lot of things in life are boring. What scares me even more, is kids that don't know how to be bored. Kids who can't be in the car without  a digital device. In a shopping cart without a digital device. At a restaurant without a digital device. In a stroller without a digital device. 

And nearly every child I know, has a smart phone. 

It's not the having a smart phone that scares me, it's what they have access to that scares me. 

It's not like we're not in this as well. My kids each have a smart phone. It's easier to do family share plans, when you all have the same devices. Apple isn't dumb... Like that wasn't part of their plan all along. 

Each of them got a phone once they started Grade 7. To go from elementary school, within the community and moments away from home, to junior high that was a considerable bus ride away, was kind of scary for this Mumma in particular. It was more me, that wanted to have access them them, should I need to. 

We have placed pretty strict restrictions on their phones, some them being as follows: 

-Neither of them have data on their phones, so can only access apps/websites when they have wifi. 

-Phones do NOT go into their bedrooms

-Phones all have a 'place' over night. 

-No apps are downloaded w/o permission.

-We have the right to go through messages and check things over. At any time. 

-No one is allowed phones at the kitchen table. 

Having these rules in place, makes us feel better, but by no means removes the dangers of having a smart phone.  

It's actually like handing your kids a loaded weapon. If that doesn't scare you, it should. 

There is so much controversy right now over social media apps. 

I'm heartbroken about young kids these days, who feel inadequate, or can't stop comparing themselves to others. That see things posted on sites such as IG as real, when it's just simply not. 

The ones who are cyber bullied, and can't get away from it. Ever. 24/7. I mean put yourself in someones shoes, someone who really feels there's no way out. So terrifying. 

I feel scared for kids who get exploited, kids who do the exploiting. Kids who think an image 'disappears', not thinking about the good old 'screen shot' that will last forever. 

Kids that film themselves doing dumb things, not thinking about their future or the consequences associated with them. 

All I really wanted an iPhone for, was to become part of the Instagram community. I feel a bit bad that IG is getting thrown under the bus right now. I'm a grown woman. I don't compare myself to other filtered feeds. I also know my house will NEVER look like a show home.

There is a big push to delete all social media apps. I don't really know where I stand with this. Some social media sites appear to be unhealthy, I get that. I also know that my teenager communicates with his friends via these social media sites. It is monitored, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. When I was a teenager, I talked on the phone All. The. Time. So much so, that my Dad installed my own phone line. [It's safe to say people were tired of getting  a busy signal] Kids don't 'talk' on the phone these days. But they text like the dickens...

I can't imagine deleting my IG account. I love that I've connect with like minded people. I love that I have the photos I do on it. The memories. My kids have changed so much over the past 6 years, and I have captured all of it. 

Random Photo Collage January 2012 - April 2018:

  

My hope is this: 

Make sure your kids know they're important. Make sure they know you're a total supporter of theirs. If they think you're not, they'll find that support elsewhere. Likely they'll find it online. That is a very dangerous proposition. 

Talk to your kids about the dangers of being addicted to their phones. I believe that digital addiction, is the same as smoking/drugs/alcohol. Talk to them about bullies and cyber-bullies. Talk to them about pornography.  Talk to them about things that are uncomfortable, so that they know they are all that really truly matters. 

Teach your kids that you value them more, than your phone. That what they're doing, is more important than what you hold in the palm of your hand. 

Watch them play hockey. Watch them play ringette. Watch them at a school performance. Watch them at swim lessons. Watch them at dance lessons. Watch them at lacrosse practice. Watch them at choir. Watch them play baseball. Watch them at soccer practice. Watch them practice badminton. Watch them play field hockey. Watch them play football. Watch them play soccer.

Watch them at [insert your childs 'thing' here]

Just go and be present. We have to show them the way. We have to lead by example. 

Put your phone down. 

The following product was used:

Paislee Press - Pressplate No 25 - http://the-lilypad.com/store/Press-Plate-No.-25.html